Tuesday, March 6, 2007

Hot Topic

I may get myself in trouble for this one. Then again I may not! I want to start out by saying to those of you who may not know me, I believe the Bible is the written infallible word of God. I grew up in a Foursquare church, that I loved. I believe the correct term is Non-Denominational. Basically this means we don't have a lot of the politics and legalisms that can accompany some denominated churches. I am not saying in any way shape or form that all denominated churches are political and legalistic. I have been to some great ones. I have however learned since moving to the South, why I am not a Southern Baptist. And I will once again state, that I know not all SB churches teach the same way. This is simply what I have encountered recently.
This year is the first time I have attended MOPS. I enjoy it, the boys really enjoy it too. It is in a nice church in our downtown area, which oddly enough my son has dubbed China. He gets very excited when I tell him we are going to his class in "China". Because if I try and call it what it is, he just ignores me!
Anyway, usually I just sit and listen to the little teaching, and glean out that which is useful to me. I believe that God has created all of us differently, thus our marriages and husbands are not going to be cookie cutter either. My hubby is a different breed. I have been so blessed with a hubby that loves and cares about me, comes home from work and WANTS to help me around the house. He loves to clean, which is a military thing I am convinced. What I am trying to say is, he is not your ordinary husband, and we don't have your ordinary marriage. We rarely argue, not to say we don't disagree, we do. But we work it out. Always. I love him and I would never want to say anything that would hurt him. Even in the heat of anger. I used to handle my anger by being quiet. I didn't like to be bugged,I just wanted to be left alone and then I would get over it and move on. Ten minutes, tops! But Damon knows that we need to talk about things, and even though its hard for me, I do now. Anyway, I have said all that to say this. I have a hard time being told that a marriage is the husband working during the day while I am Miss Suzy Homemaker, taking care of the household, children and then when the husband comes home I take care of him too. That I should not expect him to help me, but be grateful if he does. And for the things he forgets or doesn't do, I do it for Jesus. I am submissive to my husband, don't get me wrong. I just was not made to be like that. I enjoy the way our family works. And I believe that God knew that when He brought Damon and I together. I am not a Stepford Wife. To be told to just let him do his thing and provide him with a neat and tidy and organized home all the time, every day just doesn't feel right to me. Women are created to be the helpmeet. I understand that. However, we are a team and we have to work together. Doesn't that seem to make more sense?
I know there are some families that this works for, and the wives are happy and the husbands are happy. I say good for you. But for our little family, our method works for us. And I truly believe that God put us together and likes the way our family works. We love eachother, we help eachother out, my hubby understands how much I do especially with him gone so much with his ship. And when he comes home, he takes over so I get a break. Our household is taken care of, I do quite a bit while dh is at work. I also do our finances and pay the bills. I know I went off on a tangent there. If it is rambly, thats because it is fresh in my mind. I kept my mouth shut for most of MOPS. No need for foot in mouth syndrome there!
The moral of my rant is we are all created different, unique in Gods eyes, and what works for one person, may not work for another. As long as we are listening to Gods word and for His still small voice, I would say we are on the right path.


sarahgrace said...

Amen, amen, amen! I could not agree with you more! After observing (and still observing) many different marriages, I'v come to the same conclusion: different things work for different couples, and as long as each person in the relationship is happy with the way things are, then it's just fine.
I read a book recently that talked about the whole "helpmeet" thing, and the book said that the way it was described in the Bible (original Greek or Hebrew) was as "ezer kenegdo" which means to "come alongside"- not to be "under", which I think is what is translated to us wives quite a bit. I could go on and on about this topic... great post!

Heather said...

I love this post!

First on a sidenote - i was raised foursquare too (I don't attend a 4square church anymore though).

anyway... don't let the other wives get to you. do what works for you. I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut or not roll my eyes. women can be so condecending to other women. My husband helps (when he's at home of course) and you know what? I EXPECT him to help. He's part of the team, and as part of the team he has to pitch in. He doesn't mind and we have a GREAT marriage.

I think that I have a hard time connecting with women because of this issue. I will NEVER tell them how to live their marriage... why do they feel the need to tell everyone else? LOL

And I think you'll get this too... It can be even more condesending in a military marriage. Do you feel that? I just try to steer clear. :)