Friday, October 5, 2007

Missing

This year has been a rather rough year for our family. What with friends being diagnosed with Cancer, as well as my dad, a close friend of ours lost their new baby, one of my best friends moms had a brain hemorrhage, and now today, hubby deployed for 6 months. This will be our third, and it just doesn't get any easier. My Train Junkie is taking it well for now. But my Little Guy was so sad. He kept talking this morning about how we were going to get to say Bye Bye to Daddy and watch his ship go Bye Bye too. But on the way out this afternoon, he fell asleep. And once Little Guy is asleep, its HARD to wake him up. We tried and tried but just could not rouse him. Hubby kissed and hugged him anyway. On our way back to the house, through the DREARY pouring rain, Little Guy woke up. And immediately asked, "Are going to say Bye Bye to Daddy and his boat?"
All the tears I had tucked away came welling up in my eyes. Not so good when its already a monsoon outside! I had to explain to him that we did, he was asleep, and while we tried to wake him up, he didn't want to. I told him how Daddy had kissed and hugged him goodbye. Poor Little Guy began to cry in earnest. "I want to tell Daddy Bye Bye, Mommy!!!" Man, there was NO stopping my tears at that point!
I know that we don't have it so bad, Hubby's not going to Iraq or any place like that. He will be dealing with drug boats though. And half way through, he will be home for 2 weeks. So I keep telling myself, its October now, he will be home in December for a visit. Then out again and back 3 months later. We can handle that. But its still tough. Its hard to be a suddenly single mom with a 3, 4, and 2 month old. It makes things a lot more work. Going to the store becomes a HUGE task. Theres no one to give me a break when I get tired, or don't feel well. Its entirely left to me to kiss boo boos, put kids to bed, feed, clothe and plan activities. Thanksgiving will just be us. Kids birthdays will be just us. And thats tough. I know God is looking out for us, and will help us through this deployment. Just like He has in the past. He will sustain us. And hold us close to Him.
It will still be hard, and we will still be sad and lonely.
Today, we are going to make the best of it. Its rainy and stormy outside. So the boys and I are going to get in our jammies. We are going to watch movies, pop popcorn. I am going to make blueberry muffins, chocolate cupcakes, eat ice cream and drink hot cocoa. And try our best to forget the world outside.
If you think about us, pray for us. Leave me an encouraging comment! I know this won't last forever, but when its piled on top of all the pain of this past year, I think it just was the proverbial straw.

6 comments:

OneCoolMama said...

I know how hard it is when my hubby leaves for just a few days. I can't imagine what it's like for months at a time. So, I will be praying for you and your little ones.
I hope your weekend goes smoothly and brings you joy. :)

alisonwonderland said...

it's okay to cry! and you are in my thoughts and prayers!

Especially Heather said...

I wish I were there to help! I know how hard it has been for you on his past trips, so I can understand what you are facing with this one.

Praying for you, missing you, and thinking about you...

-H

sarahgrace said...

I wish I was in your town, I'd come and help you out! If you ever need anyone to talk to, you're welcome to email me. You'll be in my prayers! Hang in there!

Lois E. Lane said...

:( I will pray for you and your fam. Chocolate cupcakes seem a perfectly reasonable place to start! God bless...

pinks & blues girls said...

Just wanted to offer my support to you during this hard time! It is OK to be sad and to cry and to miss your husband. You have your hands full and a lot on your plate in general. Know we are thinking of you and we'll be here to support you and help you through these months!

Jane, Pinks & Blues