Monday, September 14, 2009

Out Of Sorts

I have been baking like crazy lately, but with no where to send it. Its a little infuriating to not have a bakery to sell our goodies in right now. Especially since we were so close we could touch it a few months ago. I want this so badly, and it overwhelms and almost buries me with the need to be working in some capacity. Am I failing because I am not putting everything on the line to "make it happen"? Does it mean I am not committed enough because I am not willing to sacrafice our family's well being for our dream?
I feel like it sometimes. When we lived in The Armpit, I worked so hard on the Event Planning company I own. Of course, at that point we only had 2 kiddos. And the other Planners I knew scoffed at the thought of not pushing constantly to make our businesses grow. Maybe thats why I feel guilty because I am not scattering my children among various sitters, or dragging them around with me while I canvas the neighborhoods, making contacts and networking. I should be, shouldn't I?
But the thought of leaving my emotionally fragile Little Guy with someone else while the Hubster is away, leaves me broken hearted. Or missing something new that my Princess says or does, or missing TJ when he comes home from Kindergarten. Is there some way to balance all this? To be able to keep my house sparkly clean (not going to happen no matter what, until I hire someone!) spend enough quality time with my kiddos, and enough quality time on getting this Bakery up and moving in the right direction?! Can it be DONE?! Does anyone know the answers?!

1 comment:

sarahgrace said...

I hear ya. This season in life is hard isn't it? Struggling with your own dreams for your life and raising children is never easy. I know for myself, I've tried to be content with the fact that I know that this is where God has placed me; at home raising my kids and keeping house. And it will be over sooner than I realize and there's still so much of life left to live after the kids are out of the nest!