Saturday, May 16, 2009

Not Up To Much

And I don't know if that a good thing or not. Life has been good around here, don't get me wrong. However, since making the decision to put the bakery on hold for a year due to hubby heading overseas shortly, I kinda feel like I have stalled out. Craft fair season is more of a winter thing here. And while there are a few here and there, I am just not out there at the moment. Its a little frustrating. There are 2 things I fear right now: 1. That because we have to wait, my dream will slip away. 2. Everyone will think I am fickle and crazy and keep having these grand schemes that never pan out and I will just flit from "hobby" to "hobby" as I get bored.

It doesn't help that I am limited when hubby is gone. I have seen how the kids are affected by deployments, and the thought of me working and never being home doesn't sit well with me. So much comes into play with that, having to go into the city to bake, and then the actual event. Finding and paying a sitter.

So I overcompensate in the rest of our life. Not that its a bad thing to be involved with the kiddos. We play, and go to the park. Have playdates with friends. I clean the house, and bake all the time. How does one balance all this?! Can I do craft fairs and Farmers Markets, and somehow still be home with Train Junkie, help Little Guy learn to listen better, and watch The Princess grow up? Can I find the time to grocery shop, be active in the Fall at TJ's school, get Little Guy involved in hockey, and Princess in gymnastics and dance, get the kids to church, visit friends and family, and do Renegade in December? Not to mention continue to work on getting out of debt, scout out a new location for a bakery, and possibly find our first house to move into next year! So much for not being up to much!

1 comment:

sarahgrace said...

Ugh! Crossroads decisions are always the hardest and most stressful to make! But I'm sure you will make the right decisions for you and your family, and try not to worry about what people will think. (I struggle with that one too.)